Everyone faces difficulties from time to time. It’s a natural part of the cycle of life. Just like we can’t really know hot without knowing cold, we can’t really know the good times if we don’t know bad times. Sometimes the difficulties we face in life come from situations out of our control, and other times our difficulties are a direct consequence of the decisions we make.
In life, we cannot change events or their outcome. We can, however, choose the emotion and meaning we attach to them. It’s like the saying goes “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react”. Our brains are designed to store information and then, at every single second of every day, when new information is received, our brains search for a reference memory to lay the foundation for our response. Think about it, this is why if you have a bad experience on a roller coaster or eating a certain food, for the rest of your life you have an automatic impulse reaction whenever you come across them.
We have to retrain ourselves to see the positive in even the most challenging times.
Am I Still Breathing?
Sometimes the best we can do is breathe. During overwhelmingly difficult times, our stress levels rise, our breathing gets shallow, and our body’s natural rhythm gets all out of whack. At these times it’s essential to stop and ask yourself, ‘am I breathing?’. If you are then, hey, you live to fight another day. If you find yourself highly stressed out, take 10 minutes, find a quiet space, and just breathe deeply. Diaphragmayic breathing has been shown to lower stress levels and helps relax your automatic nervous system. One of the keys to staying positive is to be relaxed, and making sure you’re breathing correctly is the best way to start.
What Is My Part In This?
Notice this said your ‘part’, not your ‘fault’. There’s a huge distinction in these two words. One is acknowledging and accepting your responsibility for your current situation, the other is self-defeating and simply assigns blame. Focusing on your part instead of just casting blame reduces the challenge you’re facing to a more manageable size.
What Is In My Control?
When life feels completely overwhelming, we often lose sight of those things we can change. Assess your situation honestly, and look for those things you can control. This will help you to feel more centered, more focused, and assist you in being able to tackle the challenge.
What Is Out Of My Control?
Sometimes there’s things we just cannot control. Whether it’s other people, mother nature, or just plain bad timing, no matter how much we want to, we cannot control everything. Take time to look at your difficulty, identify the things that are out of your control, and then let them go. Too often we view the totality of our difficulties and it is overwhelming. Being able to segregate what you can and cannot control makes the problem smaller, your stress levels lower, and often the path to the solution much clearer.
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